Life is about making hard decisions...today...we made one...after months of trying to decide if we would do the gonadotrophin therapy...and finding the money, and ordering the medicine for the shots for the therapy. We have decided to postpone starting the shots to let my body a heal a bit longer. The last month my body has been in bad shape...I have had several migraines as well as I have had neck and back muscle tension that is rendered me immobile. I have to go back to my routine of physical therapy exercises and doing acupuncture twice a week to help loosen the muscles. I believe the reason the muscles have tightened is from the previous hormones that threw me into a migraine spiral...my acupuncturist agrees. So here we wait another month (or so)...for our family...it feels a bit like torture to tell you the truth... like we are completely putting our plan on hold...but I think we are doing the right thing. My body needs time... it has been complete and utter hell the past two years... two years of constant pain, surgery TWICE, recovery TWICE, hormone therapy, migraines, emotions....it has been such a roller coaster...it might be good for me to take a few months to let my body just....breathe...
But I would be lying to you if I told you I was completely ok with this...that I just made this decision and didnt look back......this was hard... a really hard decision. A family is something that is very important to us, and putting it on hold another month is agony. I can't believe we are having to make this decision, after all we have done to get to this point. Another hard decisions. .... but...I am faithful......something good will come from all of this pain....or so I hope and pray......
"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord"-Isaiah 66:9
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